Cookies are sweet, but yours is not. Sweet is kindly, but that is
not his name. Audrey is sweet, but she is not your doctor.
And the little digging animal called Mole, he is your pet?
Watching Lilo and Stitch after watching Atlantis #disney #plush #MovieDay #LiloAndStitch #ohana
After work Jaffa fest #nom #jaffacake #food #cake #chocolate #goo #orange #orangegoo #tagfastic #woop #init #yeah
Now that’s what I call justice
This site literally takes social justice issues, turns it into a tasteless joke (while being disgustingly serious about it), and then wonders why people aren’t taking people like us seriously.
The post about teeth was a troll post but as far as I know the rest of this is legit.
Post with 2 notes
It wasn’t my choice. I never wanted it to end. I was so upset I would cry myself to sleep every night hoping that it was a nightmare and almost believing I would wake up any second because he would never have done it. He promised me he wouldn’t.
Forever turned to never slowly in my mind. I would act like normal, be extra nice to see if he would remember how it used to be. But he (Tom) didn’t. He told me he didn’t regret what he did. Friends told me he said that he would never love me again. Never again.
I slowly lost the will to smile, he began to avoid me. It was my fault for being annoying. I was too clingy. He said it wasn’t my fault, but how could it not be? I stopped being what he wanted, I must have changed. He said it wasn’t me. He said it was him.
I lost my will to be happy in front of others. I broke down within social situations and felt stupid for causing a scene. I saw Tom around every now and again. It hurt inside. I felt physical pain, is that normal?
I tried to move on, but he never left my mind. At a party I kissed a boy, he was really attractive yet it never went anywhere else. My mind started to break down a bit more. I saw Tom standing with some friends and a girl with pink hair. He looked happy, but I nearly cried on the spot. I thought he liked her. I hurt myself within a panic attack that night thinking about if she became his girlfriend, if she replaced me. I couldn’t comprehend it because he was my forever. Forever and always we said.
My friends said to forget him, that it was his loss but it was just hopeless. I thought I may never be happy again, but a guy who recently had become a friend would make me smile, he could make me laugh. I talked with him on chat at night and spent some time with him in the day and I began to be able to sleep. Just having someone to fill the void at night helped to increase the sleep I got from none to some and I was thankful.
After a while I had started to believe that things would never be how they used to be no matter how much I still wanted them to be, so I let Aaron into my life, I told him stories from my life and he told me some from his and I felt a bit better. I stopped feeling quite so awful when Tom was there and I could sleep more. We went out to town, went ice skating and Aaron kissed me on the top of my head before he left for the bus and I smiled. But the day before I had got a strange feeling when Tom looked at me. He hadn’t looked at me like that in a long time. A look I had longed to bask in for months. He looked at me like before. Like he loved me.
I started to worry, I felt a little ill. I just found a place where I wasn’t miserable and he decided he still loved me. I didn’t know how to cope. I decided that it was probably best for me to stay on track with Aaron, Tom agreed even though I know he wanted me back.
Aaron made me happy, but me being with him made Tom sad. I tried to think that it wasn’t my fault he was sad, because he left me but I couldn’t. It was me that was making him sad therefore it was my fault. It was my fault.
Aaron adored me with every fibre of his being. He waited for me after every one of my lessons that he could, he bought me food and hugged me lots. But Tom was sad.
I watched Tom go through phases of dealing with me and Aaron, first he was sad, then he got really angry very easily and threw things, he would throw little sarcastic comments Aaron’s way but eventually he came to being more in control of himself around others, but I knew he was hurting. And it was my fault.
I wanted Tom to be happy more than almost everything, I always have and will always feel that way but the only way I could make him happy was to be with him again. I began to have nights where I would cry myself to sleep worrying. It was my fault after all.
My feelings for Tom never left and I don’t think they ever will. They have not wavered in strength since he left and are as strong as ever now if not stronger. Aaron is still the same, he is lovely to me although he is overly clingy…
I have had a few more panic attacks more recently about the fact that I feel this way. I feel like I am a bad girlfriend to Aaron because I have feelings for another guy. I can’t help thinking about Tom, I always want to talk to him and I always want to be around him. Sometimes I even dream about him. I get upset when he talks to me about his future children because in my head they are still my children. We had planned out everything, he even told me once that he knew how he was going to propose to me. I still see it as my future, even though I’m with Aaron I can’t shake that idea, it was my dream, my fantasy. My perfect future.
How often I cry myself to sleep because I want to be with Tom but Aaron loves me and he is lovely to me and I want to be with him. I don’t want to hurt Aaron ever because he used to be such a sad person and I don’t ever want him to be that again because he is wonderful when he is happy. Also because I don’t want his family to hate me. I do love Aaron but I cannot shake Tom. It has been Tom for me for over 2 years and I feel like it is never going to change.
Just before I wrote this, I thought that I suffer a lot emotionally from this situation, and how many more times will I cry myself to sleep because I still love Tom. What kind of a life will it be where you want to tell someone you love them but can’t and don’t always feel like you can respond with I love you too to the person you’re with because you don’t feel like you deserve to have them at all.
I don’t know how writing this helps me in anyway but I couldn’t carry on crying tonight.
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